Halloweenie

31 Oct

I love Halloween.

This year I dressed up as a deer because my team at work dressed up like Buckhunter and we all had to match. Luckily this year it was pretty nice outside. Unlike that one Halloween where we had a snowstorm, which was cool.

But not conducive to Halloweening.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on a batman onesie so I’ll probably wear that if anyone invites me to any halloween parties.

(In addition to wearing it every day for the rest of my life).

We so rarely get opportunities to let our creative side come through-plus it’s always nice to see what people come up with. I so admired the people around me for their fearlessness, their excitement and zeal! Not to mention the dedication that comes with coming to work hung over (probably)  after a Red Sox world series win (even I went out for that) and still, eveyone found time to put into their personalized, beatific creations.

We had to vote for best costume. (Obviously, since I work in a corporate office and everything is made into a championship)

I voted for myself.

deer lolz

a deer lolz

Plus I mean.

I brought fancy hair spray with golden glitter to make my hair more deer-like, I followed an elaborate Pinterest tutorial, and bought tights and a little girls angel costume which I dismantled to create a polka dotted skirt which I embellished with dots I cut out of white paper and super glued. I also got a lot of superglue on my fingers.

On my flesh.

And bedroom floor.

It’s totally fine if I vote for myself.

I’m having a few hang ups about voting for myself, but it will pass.

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Death is all around us.

23 Oct

The garden is dying.

Have you ever had a salad made up, primarily, of tomatoes grown in your very own private garden? What about grapes, peppers, cucumbers (which actually didn’t fare well this year), spring unions, UNICORNS (that was just a little joke)

???

It’s taken me some time to really prepare emotionally for the coming of winter. And seeing the death and decay around me really brings it home.

Check it out!

Also, this has a lot to do with the 2014 Farmer’s Almanac which has an unsavory expectation for our impending DOOM winter.

Extra snow. Extra cold.

SIGH.

The only thing there is to do is get excited about Winter. And snow suits. Which I don’t think I can wear to work.

I mean I probably can…

It’s like they say, you know, don’t be sad it’s ending but be glad it happened.

#Notoverityet

One thing fall will bring which is extra awesome is a new phone that doesn’t whitewash breathtakingly beautiful pictures of things the second there’s natural light.  Apple thinks it’s cool to tell me I’ll get the thing I paid a lot of money for “sometime in October”, which means I’m taking it and patiently waiting because there’s no winning in the world of cell phones, service and features that are supposed to make your life easier.

If you’re considering going windows on all your technology like I did in one fell swoop, I would suggest reconsidering. That’s a strange phrase, “one fell swoop”–stranger than windows creating a phone that doesn’t take screen shots and DOES ruin all your pictures for no reason.

These ones didn’t come out too bad though.

High quality pictures of things to come!

Also you should really consider getting the Farmers Almanac. You know: get back to nature.  “Unplug and Tune In”. I’m pretty sure that’s something people are starting to say these days. Also, they didn’t pay me to say this. They don’t even know who I am. But I know who they are, and I fully endorse their excellent, witty, endlessly entertaining and informative publication, which you can get a taste of by going on their website.

http://www.farmersalmanac.com/

 “A WHOLE YEAR of forecasts?!”

Lolz.

Spiritual Veganizm

15 Oct

sO I’ve been trying to get all zen about myself lately. I’ve been meditating. I’ve been dropping my attachments, my incessant need to please, my lifelong quest for undying approval and acceptance from others, the need for a sense of belonging and all the other things that aren’t so much a condition of being human as they are a byproduct.

Which. Has. Been. Great.

I really couldn’t be happier about it.

Obviously, my new found enlightenment is going to make some waves. I mean, the understanding, accommodating, yielding lamb I used to be is gone and replaced with this fearless, unapologetic, demanding, sort of wielding spirit. Plus the resentment people will feel for my newfound peace is just going to have to be something I live with. SIGH. It’s like being vegan.

Like spiritual veganism.

Anyway here are the top 10 things I’ve learned on my newfound 8fold path:

  1. I don’t have to feel angry about things that happen. Or sad. #dryyourtears
  2. If I do get angry, it means I have a problem and I need to get over it . Bitching, whining, complaining, blaming are all wiped out in the face of ultimate responsibility. This force isn’t so much a weight as it is a kind of energy source…#MIGHTYHULKBATMAN
  3. If I get over it, then I think about why I’m glad the original thing that made me angry is in my life. #lifelessons
  4. The idea is mostly about doing things you think are cool rather than having to deal with uncool situations. It’s kind of like when kids play when they’re in that imagination phase and then they have to deal with a harsh displeasing reality and they just find a way to distract themselves. #imnotphased
  5. Since you’re so busy living in the moment all the time and appreciating the bounty of gifts the universe is giving you at all times, there’s a lot of stress free lalalaing, which is like hallucinating. #duuuuuuude
  6. This means most of the day is spent interacting and doing things that naturally occur to you to do, which means most of the day is spent doing FuNStuFF #oratleastthingsyouhave”convinced”yourselfarefun
  7. You can find a way to not be miserable, but instead be happy, even in the most grueling tasks #marypoppins
  8. Most things people stress about are self induced and you realize that most people are sick and crazy, in one way or another, because they’ve been living their  whole lives taking cues from other people that are sick and crazy (their parents and teachers and stuff) because no one knows what’s going on and because people have no idea how to find peace. #idiotsjkjk
  9. I mean there is really so much to say. #brevity
  10. But also, employing awareness of how you act and what you say in all your interactions makes you realize how STUPID YOU ARE ALL THE TIME and you cant help but love yourself for it in the kind of way people think pugs are cute but really they’re horrifyingly ugly #crazyeyes

I’m fully open to the idea that this is a phase, which will pass, and it will just be a fun thing I did for a while (like yoga and being vegan). If I don’t keep it going very long and a few posts down you see an emotionally unsettling mess of garbage, you’ll know.

The whole world will know.

And if I succeed, you’ll know. That I am A WARRIOR.

And at least I will have gallantly tried to find salvation.

WOOPWOOP

#dreamer

Positive Daily Affirmation From Master Yogi Poppins

7 Oct

Thinking is so very overrated.

I used to pride myself on intellect, on understanding, on maintaining a grasp on reality. Frequently, on maintaining a leg up on reality and making decisions for the well-being of my future and I had the suspicion that placing this much concern on how things will work out would find a way to bite me at some point. A suspicion that it was too much. But I never thought the very act of thinking would find itself obsolete that all this concern was truly in vain and that, to an extent, this much effort would be in vain. The more you care the better you are right? The more you want, the more you desire, the more alive you are maybe? That’s the same thing as passion?

The thinking, the stress, the anxiety, the worry, the over-analyzing, so much of it is a direct contradiction to the enjoyment of life. There’s a time for thought and for planning, sure, but that isn’t all the time! Just sometimes. And the rest of the time should be for enjoying. And that’s it.

I feel like anything’s possible now, because it is. And this thinking has gotten me away from what’s probable because I’m not in a place to judge what’s probable and, to a larger degree, what’s probable is a function of my own thinking that any objective reality would render.

That’s some quantum shiiiii.

Also part of this was inspired by my one of my closest friends, who was telling me about her insights on our chat conversations from five years ago and she held the rather cautious perspective that we are still in the same spiritual and mental orientation we held back then. But then I thought, well, of course we do, we still think about life the same way. It’s all been “in the future”, “when I”, “what I should do”, “you know what we need is…”-this is what we did, maybe what we still do, imagining a time when we have all the resources we need to do the things we want. Breathing life into this illusion that we need more to do the things we someday want to do.

What a separation that is, and how faulty. I have the things I need to do the things I want to do right now. I can do something I’ve been wanting to do for a while in five minutes if I wanted to. Plus we already said the worry about things not working out doesn’t exist because it’s a waste of time. There is no such thing as failure, and if you create a definition for what it means and you decide that you will then you will.

There is such a thing as experiencing love, joy and triumph in your life. All the time. You can do that every day if you want to. Your life can be filled with triumph, joy and love every day. If you want to. Joy, triumph, love, expression, resonance, understanding, learning, moving, doing, laughing, all that great nice happy stuff.

That’s such a great thing to believe in, and if I believe in it, then that’s what my life will be like. Just great things happening all the time and everything will be awesome forever.

I can thank the Tao of MP for that. Love you so much, Mary. You knew it all along, Mary!

BOOM AMEN SISTA OUT

“Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do some don’t ever want to.”

1 Oct

It seems to me that there’s a fundamental issue everyone is dealing with, and that is that they know there is a better way to live but they fear this at the same time. Perhaps a small part of their consciousness believes it’s possible to transcend the confines of their existing lives. Perhaps a bigger part is afraid and apprehensive, because if it were true that there is a better way to live, they would have to find a path to getting there and this search could lead them astray and, potentially, to an even worse place.

Perhaps it’s the idea of venturing into the unknown threatens what’s already in one’s life (kids, wives, husbands, jobs). I don’t want to know the real me, what if the real me decides I secretly hate my wife, I want to molest my children, and I’ve been desperate to cross dress all these years! Perhaps the foundation of this “better life” is ultimately based in the belief of scarcity and there are limited resources (money, comfort, security) so not everyone can strive for what they want because where would we be if everyone did that!

In the paradigm our “normalcy” is founded on, they’re all valid arguments.

I’ve been lucky to have a number of friends and relatives that ask me questions like “how are you progressing on your spiritual journey?” Which gets me thinking about how I AM progressing on my spiritual journey…I feel that I’ve been blessed with having highly conscious, sensitive, caring people around me and through their inputs, I’ve gotten comfortable with creating a spiritual inquisition for myself and getting to which questions are most helpful to ask.

So far, I’ve got:

  • Am I being nourished by my surroundings?
  • Is my perception allowing me to absorb the lessons my surroundings are trying to give me?
  • Am I adequately paying attention?
  • What have I not yet seen?
  • What am I dreaming of and why?
  • Am I adequately expressing myself at all times? Are there times where I am not self-expressed? Where and with who?
  • Am I inhibiting myself from dreaming?
  • How many of my daily decisions and actions are driven by fear? By love?

This is the part that I find upsetting because it seems that not taking the initiative to explore our inner worlds and desires keeps us confined and ultimately compromised because we feel the pressure to be happy and find contentment in life, but don’t ever take the time to create a conducive environment for doing so.

Without this initiative we’re basically screwed because we’ll just become silently desperate, hollow and left yearning for any sense of acceptance and love. Which is a scary place, and I think most of us are already there to some capacity. No matter how many times you hear money doesn’t buy happiness you still see dudes in sports cars and women injecting fat from their butts into their breasts and face, and maybe they don’t know this, but they’re sick and they don’t know how to get better so they just have to keep on suffering and wait until something happens to them. And we haven’t even talked about (and probably never will) weird sexual issues, addiction, various support groups, cults, the overworked people, the perpetually busy people, the people who spend their entire awareness avoiding knowing who they really are.

And it’s hard work, it’s not easy to get vindicated from the shackles of fear because it’s such an integral part of how we frame our thinking. If I make the wrong choice in love, will I end up alone forever? Am I unloveable? Am I getting fat? If I make the wrong choice in general, will my future be bleak and will there be no joy in my days? Look at all those homeless people on the street, this could be me someday If I’m not careful!

This is real, this is the dialogue, this is what it looks and sounds like. It’s not nice and it certainly doesn’t have a trace of self love, faith or hope in it. It’s a desolate, barren wasteland we condemn ourselves to. It’s an impotent, arid, lifeless, alien planet. Don’t go there. Stay away. Don’t pour your creative energy into this, think of something else, think of what you want to build and create, not of what’s going to destroy you.

And also, let me just say that I love DreamWorks and have been so very proud of their creative and commercial success. They did this film about guardians, which is pretty fun because it features Santa, Easter Bunny, Sandman (who apparently creates dreams? I’ve never heard of the sandman before, but I like this idea.), Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy. My favorite part is the villain who is (Jude Law) the essence and manifestation of fear! I’ve included the death scene of sandman because it’s a perfect representation of fear growing inside each of us, slowly crippling us to death.

If we treat it like they do in the 12 step programs, accepting that we are being crippled by fear and need instead to shift our focus on love and what brings us love is a good start.

AMIRITE?!

Only the unloved hate. A story about parking in downtown Boston. And more.

26 Sep

Yesterday took a toll on me, as I found myself victim to scheduling setbacks, miscommunications and emotional let downs—my mood found itself compromised with each passing moment. And it was a moment to moment thing—each giving into the surge of pandemonium that was collecting. Yes pandemonium. And hate.

I usually have no problems finding parking downtown, I always find a spot and it’s usually convenient. Sometimes there are inconvenient isolated events, but of course, yesterday there weren’t any parking spaces. There were spaces that cars had just parked into, plenty of people putting change in their meters and plenty of people sitting in their cars mouthing “No I’m not leaving” to me as I glared at them through the window inquiring when they were going to get the HELL OUT. Nicely. Obviously.

I kept trying to tell myself this was happening because I allowed myself to get into a bad mood and I couldn’t get myself out of it. I needed to find the kingdom of god and find salvation!

Which brings me to this invigorating Charlie Chaplin speech in The Great Dictator. If you’re having trouble making the connection, you’ll need to listen to the entire speech and make observations on your own time.

But here’s a quotation to rile your interest!

“Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all!”

Yoga Realness & Truth. And Love.

25 Sep

Evidently I’m drawn towards glorious old ladies lately.

Her name is Tao Porchon-Lynch and yes. She is a yoga master.

There’s been so much talk about what negative emotions do to us in my world and I’ve been thinking it might be most beneficial, as a general rule, to maintain a positive psychic orientation.

“When I wake up in the morning, I know that it’s going to be the best day of my life. I never think about what I can’t do. Make sure positive thoughts are the first ones you think in the morning. And never procrastinate.”
-Tao Porchon-Lynch

I’ve had a few opportunities lately to be very upset and instead of getting very upset, I’ve only gotten mildly upset and instead of venting about it, I just get over it. Usually asking myself why I’m actually mad about something neutralizes the feeling.  I don’t know if this sustainable, but I am going to try and keep going at this rate so that I can be like this amazing 95 year old faerie princess.  Either it is sustainable and I will live happier for it, or I will spontaneously combust from the flames of bouts of anger trapped inside the arsenal of my tumultuous heart. Or not, we’ll see.

This is a 95 year old yoga instructor, and I found out about her today by accident—if there even is such a thing. I think the universe is trying to shame me into committing to a yoga practice (since I don’t think I have any desire to go to a gym ever again). Regardless, she is beautiful and the fact that she exists is an inspiration. She is an inspiration!  Look at her, in the arms of this strapping man:

Ok this is the final picture I will show you. Just promise me you won’t throw up from the shock of the violent cuteness of this image as it enters your consciousness.

PROMISE ME.

Love you.

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