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Colors colors everywhere!

7 Nov

I’ve been loving my new camera lately.

Thank you.

Gods of iPhone in your wonder and glory.

Let’s see how this WordPress app works!

Is it just me, or are beautiful sunsets, lights and water wonderlands following me?

What do they want with me?

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Spiritual Veganizm

15 Oct

sO I’ve been trying to get all zen about myself lately. I’ve been meditating. I’ve been dropping my attachments, my incessant need to please, my lifelong quest for undying approval and acceptance from others, the need for a sense of belonging and all the other things that aren’t so much a condition of being human as they are a byproduct.

Which. Has. Been. Great.

I really couldn’t be happier about it.

Obviously, my new found enlightenment is going to make some waves. I mean, the understanding, accommodating, yielding lamb I used to be is gone and replaced with this fearless, unapologetic, demanding, sort of wielding spirit. Plus the resentment people will feel for my newfound peace is just going to have to be something I live with. SIGH. It’s like being vegan.

Like spiritual veganism.

Anyway here are the top 10 things I’ve learned on my newfound 8fold path:

  1. I don’t have to feel angry about things that happen. Or sad. #dryyourtears
  2. If I do get angry, it means I have a problem and I need to get over it . Bitching, whining, complaining, blaming are all wiped out in the face of ultimate responsibility. This force isn’t so much a weight as it is a kind of energy source…#MIGHTYHULKBATMAN
  3. If I get over it, then I think about why I’m glad the original thing that made me angry is in my life. #lifelessons
  4. The idea is mostly about doing things you think are cool rather than having to deal with uncool situations. It’s kind of like when kids play when they’re in that imagination phase and then they have to deal with a harsh displeasing reality and they just find a way to distract themselves. #imnotphased
  5. Since you’re so busy living in the moment all the time and appreciating the bounty of gifts the universe is giving you at all times, there’s a lot of stress free lalalaing, which is like hallucinating. #duuuuuuude
  6. This means most of the day is spent interacting and doing things that naturally occur to you to do, which means most of the day is spent doing FuNStuFF #oratleastthingsyouhave”convinced”yourselfarefun
  7. You can find a way to not be miserable, but instead be happy, even in the most grueling tasks #marypoppins
  8. Most things people stress about are self induced and you realize that most people are sick and crazy, in one way or another, because they’ve been living their  whole lives taking cues from other people that are sick and crazy (their parents and teachers and stuff) because no one knows what’s going on and because people have no idea how to find peace. #idiotsjkjk
  9. I mean there is really so much to say. #brevity
  10. But also, employing awareness of how you act and what you say in all your interactions makes you realize how STUPID YOU ARE ALL THE TIME and you cant help but love yourself for it in the kind of way people think pugs are cute but really they’re horrifyingly ugly #crazyeyes

I’m fully open to the idea that this is a phase, which will pass, and it will just be a fun thing I did for a while (like yoga and being vegan). If I don’t keep it going very long and a few posts down you see an emotionally unsettling mess of garbage, you’ll know.

The whole world will know.

And if I succeed, you’ll know. That I am A WARRIOR.

And at least I will have gallantly tried to find salvation.

WOOPWOOP

#dreamer

Positive Daily Affirmation From Master Yogi Poppins

7 Oct

Thinking is so very overrated.

I used to pride myself on intellect, on understanding, on maintaining a grasp on reality. Frequently, on maintaining a leg up on reality and making decisions for the well-being of my future and I had the suspicion that placing this much concern on how things will work out would find a way to bite me at some point. A suspicion that it was too much. But I never thought the very act of thinking would find itself obsolete that all this concern was truly in vain and that, to an extent, this much effort would be in vain. The more you care the better you are right? The more you want, the more you desire, the more alive you are maybe? That’s the same thing as passion?

The thinking, the stress, the anxiety, the worry, the over-analyzing, so much of it is a direct contradiction to the enjoyment of life. There’s a time for thought and for planning, sure, but that isn’t all the time! Just sometimes. And the rest of the time should be for enjoying. And that’s it.

I feel like anything’s possible now, because it is. And this thinking has gotten me away from what’s probable because I’m not in a place to judge what’s probable and, to a larger degree, what’s probable is a function of my own thinking that any objective reality would render.

That’s some quantum shiiiii.

Also part of this was inspired by my one of my closest friends, who was telling me about her insights on our chat conversations from five years ago and she held the rather cautious perspective that we are still in the same spiritual and mental orientation we held back then. But then I thought, well, of course we do, we still think about life the same way. It’s all been “in the future”, “when I”, “what I should do”, “you know what we need is…”-this is what we did, maybe what we still do, imagining a time when we have all the resources we need to do the things we want. Breathing life into this illusion that we need more to do the things we someday want to do.

What a separation that is, and how faulty. I have the things I need to do the things I want to do right now. I can do something I’ve been wanting to do for a while in five minutes if I wanted to. Plus we already said the worry about things not working out doesn’t exist because it’s a waste of time. There is no such thing as failure, and if you create a definition for what it means and you decide that you will then you will.

There is such a thing as experiencing love, joy and triumph in your life. All the time. You can do that every day if you want to. Your life can be filled with triumph, joy and love every day. If you want to. Joy, triumph, love, expression, resonance, understanding, learning, moving, doing, laughing, all that great nice happy stuff.

That’s such a great thing to believe in, and if I believe in it, then that’s what my life will be like. Just great things happening all the time and everything will be awesome forever.

I can thank the Tao of MP for that. Love you so much, Mary. You knew it all along, Mary!

BOOM AMEN SISTA OUT

“Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do some don’t ever want to.”

1 Oct

It seems to me that there’s a fundamental issue everyone is dealing with, and that is that they know there is a better way to live but they fear this at the same time. Perhaps a small part of their consciousness believes it’s possible to transcend the confines of their existing lives. Perhaps a bigger part is afraid and apprehensive, because if it were true that there is a better way to live, they would have to find a path to getting there and this search could lead them astray and, potentially, to an even worse place.

Perhaps it’s the idea of venturing into the unknown threatens what’s already in one’s life (kids, wives, husbands, jobs). I don’t want to know the real me, what if the real me decides I secretly hate my wife, I want to molest my children, and I’ve been desperate to cross dress all these years! Perhaps the foundation of this “better life” is ultimately based in the belief of scarcity and there are limited resources (money, comfort, security) so not everyone can strive for what they want because where would we be if everyone did that!

In the paradigm our “normalcy” is founded on, they’re all valid arguments.

I’ve been lucky to have a number of friends and relatives that ask me questions like “how are you progressing on your spiritual journey?” Which gets me thinking about how I AM progressing on my spiritual journey…I feel that I’ve been blessed with having highly conscious, sensitive, caring people around me and through their inputs, I’ve gotten comfortable with creating a spiritual inquisition for myself and getting to which questions are most helpful to ask.

So far, I’ve got:

  • Am I being nourished by my surroundings?
  • Is my perception allowing me to absorb the lessons my surroundings are trying to give me?
  • Am I adequately paying attention?
  • What have I not yet seen?
  • What am I dreaming of and why?
  • Am I adequately expressing myself at all times? Are there times where I am not self-expressed? Where and with who?
  • Am I inhibiting myself from dreaming?
  • How many of my daily decisions and actions are driven by fear? By love?

This is the part that I find upsetting because it seems that not taking the initiative to explore our inner worlds and desires keeps us confined and ultimately compromised because we feel the pressure to be happy and find contentment in life, but don’t ever take the time to create a conducive environment for doing so.

Without this initiative we’re basically screwed because we’ll just become silently desperate, hollow and left yearning for any sense of acceptance and love. Which is a scary place, and I think most of us are already there to some capacity. No matter how many times you hear money doesn’t buy happiness you still see dudes in sports cars and women injecting fat from their butts into their breasts and face, and maybe they don’t know this, but they’re sick and they don’t know how to get better so they just have to keep on suffering and wait until something happens to them. And we haven’t even talked about (and probably never will) weird sexual issues, addiction, various support groups, cults, the overworked people, the perpetually busy people, the people who spend their entire awareness avoiding knowing who they really are.

And it’s hard work, it’s not easy to get vindicated from the shackles of fear because it’s such an integral part of how we frame our thinking. If I make the wrong choice in love, will I end up alone forever? Am I unloveable? Am I getting fat? If I make the wrong choice in general, will my future be bleak and will there be no joy in my days? Look at all those homeless people on the street, this could be me someday If I’m not careful!

This is real, this is the dialogue, this is what it looks and sounds like. It’s not nice and it certainly doesn’t have a trace of self love, faith or hope in it. It’s a desolate, barren wasteland we condemn ourselves to. It’s an impotent, arid, lifeless, alien planet. Don’t go there. Stay away. Don’t pour your creative energy into this, think of something else, think of what you want to build and create, not of what’s going to destroy you.

And also, let me just say that I love DreamWorks and have been so very proud of their creative and commercial success. They did this film about guardians, which is pretty fun because it features Santa, Easter Bunny, Sandman (who apparently creates dreams? I’ve never heard of the sandman before, but I like this idea.), Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy. My favorite part is the villain who is (Jude Law) the essence and manifestation of fear! I’ve included the death scene of sandman because it’s a perfect representation of fear growing inside each of us, slowly crippling us to death.

If we treat it like they do in the 12 step programs, accepting that we are being crippled by fear and need instead to shift our focus on love and what brings us love is a good start.

AMIRITE?!

Yoga Realness & Truth. And Love.

25 Sep

Evidently I’m drawn towards glorious old ladies lately.

Her name is Tao Porchon-Lynch and yes. She is a yoga master.

There’s been so much talk about what negative emotions do to us in my world and I’ve been thinking it might be most beneficial, as a general rule, to maintain a positive psychic orientation.

“When I wake up in the morning, I know that it’s going to be the best day of my life. I never think about what I can’t do. Make sure positive thoughts are the first ones you think in the morning. And never procrastinate.”
-Tao Porchon-Lynch

I’ve had a few opportunities lately to be very upset and instead of getting very upset, I’ve only gotten mildly upset and instead of venting about it, I just get over it. Usually asking myself why I’m actually mad about something neutralizes the feeling.  I don’t know if this sustainable, but I am going to try and keep going at this rate so that I can be like this amazing 95 year old faerie princess.  Either it is sustainable and I will live happier for it, or I will spontaneously combust from the flames of bouts of anger trapped inside the arsenal of my tumultuous heart. Or not, we’ll see.

This is a 95 year old yoga instructor, and I found out about her today by accident—if there even is such a thing. I think the universe is trying to shame me into committing to a yoga practice (since I don’t think I have any desire to go to a gym ever again). Regardless, she is beautiful and the fact that she exists is an inspiration. She is an inspiration!  Look at her, in the arms of this strapping man:

Ok this is the final picture I will show you. Just promise me you won’t throw up from the shock of the violent cuteness of this image as it enters your consciousness.

PROMISE ME.

Love you.

BOOM. Dolce. Life Advice. (Not from me, don’t worry)

24 Sep

I came across an article by Refinery 29 and, since our blog names match, I decided to perpetuate the idea of old versus new in this most inspiring story of an older woman who was approached for a modeling career because she’s a fantastically aged specimen of a human:

When you were in the R29 office, a few women said they hoped to age as gracefully as you have. So, what’s your secret?

“Everyone wants to know that life gets better and not worse. We would like to know we get better as time goes by. And, we can. I have come to the full realization that all of life is fun, adventurous, challenging — not just the first 30 years. I have thrown out the old paradigm of life looking like a mountain, with an imaginary peak they call the ‘prime of life.’ There is no such thing. Every second of your life is the prime of your life. Right now. And now. If you take care of your body and live for pleasure rather than success, (which lowers the stress in your body and mind) and learn to trust the universe, you will carry yourself with ease and joy.

I do not accept my age — I celebrate it! I wear my wrinkles, silver hair, and age spots as medals of honor. Life and beauty is all what you make it. That is what attractiveness and aging gracefully is all about. Enjoy it!”

Highlighting points I would like to mention:

This isn’t one we haven’t heard before, but still: “Being attractive is about how you feel and your attitude, not how you look.”

On Makeup: “I believe if we wear beauty products for fun, rather than fear, we are on the right track.”

On Greys (NOT ALIENS): “At 43, I was silver all around my face. I was not comfortable with it and covered it against the wishes of my then-boyfriend, 16 years my junior, and my kids. After six years, I realized I was covering what I was celebrating: my age! So, I threw out the bottle of dye and went silver. The day I chopped off the last bit of dye, I was approached to model!” (FOR DOLCE & GABBANA)

On Face: “A Thai dermatologist said, ‘do not wash your face unless you must, and only at night before bedtime.’ Been doing it ever since!”

On Girl Life Hack: “It’s all the same conversation. Remember, you are in the driver’s seat of your life. It is what youmake it, and what you think of it. You make the judgment calls — no one else does. If you are living according to what others think, you will never be truly confident or happy. And, if you live only for success, you will burn yourself out. If you go for success, pleasure is 50-50. If you go for pleasure, success is guaranteed. I believe we were built for pleasure. That is our nature, as women.”

HEYOOOO. No but isn’t that inspiring?

I mean. Right?

Also she has started a line of beauty products which i would be more than HAPPY to promote in my very modest blog:  BOOM

Fashion Week & Girl Power!

18 Sep

As I ponder the various fashion weeks that are going on during fashion month as I’m sifting through my various—too many, too heavy, large, over-sized September issues—fashion magazines trying to draw inspiration for my dream boards (mostly), I find myself thinking more about how so many women (and gays) are dealing with sharing constricted spaces.

I wonder if the experience is happy, I know fashion weeks are filled with people that are either thrilled to be there or burdened by being there, but independent of this, is anyone actually having any fun?

Why wouldn’t it be fun right? What unfathomable, unsuspecting, strange, irrational, unnatural, problematic, highly concerning issue could it be to prevent any of these people from enjoying themselves during such an uplifting, happy time? The frenetic, buzzy energy of New York or London or wherever is probably infectious, I’m sure it’s enough to send your spirits soaring into a paradise of fabrics, prints and cuts representing physical forms of dreams and fantasy. RIGHT? Because that’s what fashion week is: the cathartic, orgasmic culmination of tired work nights, blood, sweat, tears (and business). Again, what could distract from this? What could take it all away in an instant?

BITCHES.

Realistically speaking, fashion week has nothing to do with this since I can think of lots of profoundly beautiful life events that can be ruined altogether at the fault of bitch weakness. More specifically: women being cruel to each other.  I once had a boss tell me that female clients would hate me right off the bat, almost always, and she curtly offered the advice of not wearing makeup and putting my hair up in an ugly bun when I plan to meet with a woman because it would “put them at ease” because that’s what she does and it works for her.

So just to ensure my point is made as succinctly as possible, I’m going to try to make some declarative statements:

  • Women are insecure a lot
  • Maybe more than men?
  • Probably. That seems right. But I’m not a man, and someone somewhere might one day get all “um statistically speaking BLALBBLABLA” and I’m not doing this to attract fact based counterarguments so LET ME stick to my generalization.
  • They’re insecure because they:feel like losers
  • think they’re not cool or smart or funny
  • think they’re fat almost always
  • beat themselves up over things they do that they feel support the above claims
  • hate themselves and are mean to themselves in the privacy of their own thoughts
  • had a bad experience once or twice in the past where someone (anyone) convinced them one or all of these things are true and they can’t let it go

Also, obviously, tons of people might think “Nope. I know I’m not (actually) fat, I’m pretty hilarious, stunning, ingenious… I’m a total catch… Anyone who doesn’t think so is out of their minds” but if you peel back the self delusional “fake it till you make it” silent desperation that plagues so many people today that consciously believe this is true and arrive to the cold abyss of darkness and despair (among other, happier companions I’m sure) that is the subconscious and really take a look into what’s actually happening, we would find that people are motivated by fear and a constant (though ill executed) search for acceptance and love.

This is what goes on in the internal dialogue when meeting a fellow female:

  • Is she prettier/smarter/more put together/more successful than me?
  • If so, does this mean she’s better than me?
  • If she is better than me, does this mean she will take all the goodness and love and wonderment of life AWAY FROM ME FOREVER?

This frame of mind used to affect me quite a bit during my development and I’m sure it still does to an extent though I’ve come to realize it’s nonsense. I’ve been on a self love kick and luckily so have many of my close girl friends and the infusion of this type of feel good energy makes it possible to step out of the aforementioned paradigm and actually like other women. Through my conversations with my various enlightened friends, I’ve come to understand this viewpoint is universal and I see evidence of it when I meet new females during the course of my days.

Interestingly, focusing on yourself and thinking about how awesome you are actually makes you hate other women less!

Men have a brotherhood and they are, more often than not, able to acknowledge each other as potential friends first, unless something goes horribly wrong,  but this camaraderie rarely exists in girl world. There’s no such thing as a universal sisterhood for females. We are constantly bombarded with conflicting information and feelings that make it impossible to step outside of the confines they create, which makes girls have their guard up always. Usually this means, when approaching another female, you have to either downplay your strengths (to avoid negative attention from them) or completely dominate the interaction entirely… with loving kindness.

It’s kind of like in Avatar when the avatars have to fight those dragon things before they become besties forever.

What delicate creatures we are.

Now I will provide some helpful aids which I hope will be heavily considered:

  • If you’re a girl and you meet another girl, be nice to her.
  • This doesn’t mean mask your inner hatred for fake niceness. This means actually acknowledge the person that is in front of you and find a source of love to draw from and express that. For realsies.
  • Compliment them if you like something.
  • Ask them questions if you have questions (which you should—they’re a new person in your life that you know nothing about.)
  • Recognize the universality of human interaction, we all share the same feelings and it’s theorized that we are all the same person in different forms and expressions. You don’t necessarily have to believe this but you can believe that we all have a lot more in common than we think.

There’s so much more to say about this, but for now I guess it suffices to say that’s very important to be nicer to other people and to yourself so that you can be happier in general!

YAY!

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