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Colors colors everywhere!

7 Nov

I’ve been loving my new camera lately.

Thank you.

Gods of iPhone in your wonder and glory.

Let’s see how this WordPress app works!

Is it just me, or are beautiful sunsets, lights and water wonderlands following me?

What do they want with me?











“Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do some don’t ever want to.”

1 Oct

It seems to me that there’s a fundamental issue everyone is dealing with, and that is that they know there is a better way to live but they fear this at the same time. Perhaps a small part of their consciousness believes it’s possible to transcend the confines of their existing lives. Perhaps a bigger part is afraid and apprehensive, because if it were true that there is a better way to live, they would have to find a path to getting there and this search could lead them astray and, potentially, to an even worse place.

Perhaps it’s the idea of venturing into the unknown threatens what’s already in one’s life (kids, wives, husbands, jobs). I don’t want to know the real me, what if the real me decides I secretly hate my wife, I want to molest my children, and I’ve been desperate to cross dress all these years! Perhaps the foundation of this “better life” is ultimately based in the belief of scarcity and there are limited resources (money, comfort, security) so not everyone can strive for what they want because where would we be if everyone did that!

In the paradigm our “normalcy” is founded on, they’re all valid arguments.

I’ve been lucky to have a number of friends and relatives that ask me questions like “how are you progressing on your spiritual journey?” Which gets me thinking about how I AM progressing on my spiritual journey…I feel that I’ve been blessed with having highly conscious, sensitive, caring people around me and through their inputs, I’ve gotten comfortable with creating a spiritual inquisition for myself and getting to which questions are most helpful to ask.

So far, I’ve got:

  • Am I being nourished by my surroundings?
  • Is my perception allowing me to absorb the lessons my surroundings are trying to give me?
  • Am I adequately paying attention?
  • What have I not yet seen?
  • What am I dreaming of and why?
  • Am I adequately expressing myself at all times? Are there times where I am not self-expressed? Where and with who?
  • Am I inhibiting myself from dreaming?
  • How many of my daily decisions and actions are driven by fear? By love?

This is the part that I find upsetting because it seems that not taking the initiative to explore our inner worlds and desires keeps us confined and ultimately compromised because we feel the pressure to be happy and find contentment in life, but don’t ever take the time to create a conducive environment for doing so.

Without this initiative we’re basically screwed because we’ll just become silently desperate, hollow and left yearning for any sense of acceptance and love. Which is a scary place, and I think most of us are already there to some capacity. No matter how many times you hear money doesn’t buy happiness you still see dudes in sports cars and women injecting fat from their butts into their breasts and face, and maybe they don’t know this, but they’re sick and they don’t know how to get better so they just have to keep on suffering and wait until something happens to them. And we haven’t even talked about (and probably never will) weird sexual issues, addiction, various support groups, cults, the overworked people, the perpetually busy people, the people who spend their entire awareness avoiding knowing who they really are.

And it’s hard work, it’s not easy to get vindicated from the shackles of fear because it’s such an integral part of how we frame our thinking. If I make the wrong choice in love, will I end up alone forever? Am I unloveable? Am I getting fat? If I make the wrong choice in general, will my future be bleak and will there be no joy in my days? Look at all those homeless people on the street, this could be me someday If I’m not careful!

This is real, this is the dialogue, this is what it looks and sounds like. It’s not nice and it certainly doesn’t have a trace of self love, faith or hope in it. It’s a desolate, barren wasteland we condemn ourselves to. It’s an impotent, arid, lifeless, alien planet. Don’t go there. Stay away. Don’t pour your creative energy into this, think of something else, think of what you want to build and create, not of what’s going to destroy you.

And also, let me just say that I love DreamWorks and have been so very proud of their creative and commercial success. They did this film about guardians, which is pretty fun because it features Santa, Easter Bunny, Sandman (who apparently creates dreams? I’ve never heard of the sandman before, but I like this idea.), Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy. My favorite part is the villain who is (Jude Law) the essence and manifestation of fear! I’ve included the death scene of sandman because it’s a perfect representation of fear growing inside each of us, slowly crippling us to death.

If we treat it like they do in the 12 step programs, accepting that we are being crippled by fear and need instead to shift our focus on love and what brings us love is a good start.


Only the unloved hate. A story about parking in downtown Boston. And more.

26 Sep

Yesterday took a toll on me, as I found myself victim to scheduling setbacks, miscommunications and emotional let downs—my mood found itself compromised with each passing moment. And it was a moment to moment thing—each giving into the surge of pandemonium that was collecting. Yes pandemonium. And hate.

I usually have no problems finding parking downtown, I always find a spot and it’s usually convenient. Sometimes there are inconvenient isolated events, but of course, yesterday there weren’t any parking spaces. There were spaces that cars had just parked into, plenty of people putting change in their meters and plenty of people sitting in their cars mouthing “No I’m not leaving” to me as I glared at them through the window inquiring when they were going to get the HELL OUT. Nicely. Obviously.

I kept trying to tell myself this was happening because I allowed myself to get into a bad mood and I couldn’t get myself out of it. I needed to find the kingdom of god and find salvation!

Which brings me to this invigorating Charlie Chaplin speech in The Great Dictator. If you’re having trouble making the connection, you’ll need to listen to the entire speech and make observations on your own time.

But here’s a quotation to rile your interest!

“Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all!”

Yoga Realness & Truth. And Love.

25 Sep

Evidently I’m drawn towards glorious old ladies lately.

Her name is Tao Porchon-Lynch and yes. She is a yoga master.

There’s been so much talk about what negative emotions do to us in my world and I’ve been thinking it might be most beneficial, as a general rule, to maintain a positive psychic orientation.

“When I wake up in the morning, I know that it’s going to be the best day of my life. I never think about what I can’t do. Make sure positive thoughts are the first ones you think in the morning. And never procrastinate.”
-Tao Porchon-Lynch

I’ve had a few opportunities lately to be very upset and instead of getting very upset, I’ve only gotten mildly upset and instead of venting about it, I just get over it. Usually asking myself why I’m actually mad about something neutralizes the feeling.  I don’t know if this sustainable, but I am going to try and keep going at this rate so that I can be like this amazing 95 year old faerie princess.  Either it is sustainable and I will live happier for it, or I will spontaneously combust from the flames of bouts of anger trapped inside the arsenal of my tumultuous heart. Or not, we’ll see.

This is a 95 year old yoga instructor, and I found out about her today by accident—if there even is such a thing. I think the universe is trying to shame me into committing to a yoga practice (since I don’t think I have any desire to go to a gym ever again). Regardless, she is beautiful and the fact that she exists is an inspiration. She is an inspiration!  Look at her, in the arms of this strapping man:

Ok this is the final picture I will show you. Just promise me you won’t throw up from the shock of the violent cuteness of this image as it enters your consciousness.


Love you.

BOOM. Dolce. Life Advice. (Not from me, don’t worry)

24 Sep

I came across an article by Refinery 29 and, since our blog names match, I decided to perpetuate the idea of old versus new in this most inspiring story of an older woman who was approached for a modeling career because she’s a fantastically aged specimen of a human:

When you were in the R29 office, a few women said they hoped to age as gracefully as you have. So, what’s your secret?

“Everyone wants to know that life gets better and not worse. We would like to know we get better as time goes by. And, we can. I have come to the full realization that all of life is fun, adventurous, challenging — not just the first 30 years. I have thrown out the old paradigm of life looking like a mountain, with an imaginary peak they call the ‘prime of life.’ There is no such thing. Every second of your life is the prime of your life. Right now. And now. If you take care of your body and live for pleasure rather than success, (which lowers the stress in your body and mind) and learn to trust the universe, you will carry yourself with ease and joy.

I do not accept my age — I celebrate it! I wear my wrinkles, silver hair, and age spots as medals of honor. Life and beauty is all what you make it. That is what attractiveness and aging gracefully is all about. Enjoy it!”

Highlighting points I would like to mention:

This isn’t one we haven’t heard before, but still: “Being attractive is about how you feel and your attitude, not how you look.”

On Makeup: “I believe if we wear beauty products for fun, rather than fear, we are on the right track.”

On Greys (NOT ALIENS): “At 43, I was silver all around my face. I was not comfortable with it and covered it against the wishes of my then-boyfriend, 16 years my junior, and my kids. After six years, I realized I was covering what I was celebrating: my age! So, I threw out the bottle of dye and went silver. The day I chopped off the last bit of dye, I was approached to model!” (FOR DOLCE & GABBANA)

On Face: “A Thai dermatologist said, ‘do not wash your face unless you must, and only at night before bedtime.’ Been doing it ever since!”

On Girl Life Hack: “It’s all the same conversation. Remember, you are in the driver’s seat of your life. It is what youmake it, and what you think of it. You make the judgment calls — no one else does. If you are living according to what others think, you will never be truly confident or happy. And, if you live only for success, you will burn yourself out. If you go for success, pleasure is 50-50. If you go for pleasure, success is guaranteed. I believe we were built for pleasure. That is our nature, as women.”

HEYOOOO. No but isn’t that inspiring?

I mean. Right?

Also she has started a line of beauty products which i would be more than HAPPY to promote in my very modest blog:  BOOM

JU Get ET? Tao. Pow. Love.

23 Jul


I mean… Yes.

I’ve done the Forum and the Advanced Course which are two seminars provided by Landmark (in exchange for money) and I feel pretty good. It was like an integration, communication overhaul.

I’ve learned the following things about myself:

  • I’m a lot more selfish (entitled, manipulative, self absorbed—but you already gathered that last one) than I thought I was (and I already had come to terms with the very consoling belief that “we are all selfish to a degree, OBV”)
  • I don’t listen and I never have because I’m so busy talking
  • I assumingly enter situations thinking I already know how things will go, and oftentimes the mind points to a negative resolution because fear of failure is always present and indulged, somewhat religiously
  • I would be more capable of manifesting the things I want in my life if it weren’t for the many shackles of the past I choose to carry around with me

That last one is pretty abstract and I get that… but if we think about kids, and how smart they usually are, we can start to see that if we embodied their same craving for curiosity and unabashed expression of spirit, we would realize a potential that frequently remains untapped. I know this isn’t a groundbreaking concept, but it is one worth exploring. Each of us can be invited to entertain how they might perceive the world if they had this fresh pair of eyes, which, in many ways is far more liberating than our tired, cautious eyes would ever allow us to be.

 Kids serve as such an excellent example. They don’t know anything. Sort of… and we foolishly believe that because we teach them the ways of the world, that they act as vessels which we fill with the knowledge we possess. Things like what’s appropriate according to societal convention, what to be careful of, what to fear and what to protect yourself from. Then we try and teach them good stuff too, like what kind of pursuit will turn the odds in your favor and what it means to embody the higher ideals of grace, honor, strength and courage.

 And what’s too bad is these higher ideals mean different things to different people.

 I think we’ll be talking about things like this for a while, there is so much to say. But lets not be sad for this moment of sobriety. Instead we rejoice, for all the expansion, exploration and expression to come!


The universe is a strange strange place…

9 Apr


My online persona has been acted out by strangers.

I recognize how strange that sentance was to write and to read, but I guess I’ll get that out of the way now: Someone played me in a play, in front of my very eyes. I didn’t know what to expect, since this has never happened before. To anyone I know. It was a black box play, so the only thing that was lit up was the stage which was almost surrounded by 50 or 60 seats. Some of you might be wondering why this happened: I don’t know why.

I have no idea why.

The actors were prop-less and used only the lines in our posts and the conviction in their voices. That sheer will alone was truly inspiring. I couldn’t believe they memorized these posts. They’re taking from blogs, so it’s not like they’re brief little snippets. These are long winded, descriptive, sometimes arduous posts that the actors executed cue free in front of all of us. Not only did they not mess up or forget, they made the posts attractive and were very effective in stimulating the crowd’s attention. These people had read through this material for months and they were probably very nervous on Wednesday (opening) night and just did an awesome job.

There’s so much I want to say about this event and I’m going to try and tackle almost all of them in order of importance:

1. The actress that played me was SO COOL.

She: Told me about her own teacup collection and her fascination with snow suits, had good style, went to the Beehive with us as her friends and my friends all had after-show drinks, we exchanged business cards and found out we had people in common through other people and I hope we become friends who hang out. Her blog was listed on her business card so i went on it to see what the deal was and it turns out that she mentions the potential-me in one of her posts (before we met) and her description of potential-us was:

“In an alternate universe where we meet before i played her blogger personality in a show, we would’ve been those cool friends who wear vintage clothes without trying too hard and we make fun of hipsters at bars in places like Harvard Square or Allston where we may or may not also sort of be hipsters but would never admit it.”


2. My friends came and showed support, which I just love. I already celebrated a birthday party about three weeks ago and the idea of forcing more people into a situation where I, essentially, monopolized attention again seemed too much. But they came out anyway, with very little notice, and that’s why I love my friends. Also, the perplexity of this event isn’t lost on them, since most of them greeted me with raised eyebrows and smug smirks at the introduction of each post they recognized only through the characteristic tone I couldn’t objectively describe. I’m sure they could.

At one point, during the play’s rendition of my Bucket List post (which I found a surprising choice), all of the actors were up reciting the various tasks I’d like to accomplish before I died. Some serious and intimate, some silly, all very readily screamed: “These are Irene’s Goals Duh”. As our eyes darted from each actor, and, then amongst each other, in what ended up resembling a fireworks display of cognative, emotional and volitional brian activity, I just kept thinking about how fantastic this all was.

I wish I had written: “Have my life written into a play of some sort and then go see it” on my bucket list. Who would have thought something like that was possible.

I gotta start making my dreams, hopes and wishes a bit more creative.







I’ll settle for five out of six.

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