As I ponder the various fashion weeks that are going on during fashion month as I’m sifting through my various—too many, too heavy, large, over-sized September issues—fashion magazines trying to draw inspiration for my dream boards (mostly), I find myself thinking more about how so many women (and gays) are dealing with sharing constricted spaces.
I wonder if the experience is happy, I know fashion weeks are filled with people that are either thrilled to be there or burdened by being there, but independent of this, is anyone actually having any fun?

Why wouldn’t it be fun right? What unfathomable, unsuspecting, strange, irrational, unnatural, problematic, highly concerning issue could it be to prevent any of these people from enjoying themselves during such an uplifting, happy time? The frenetic, buzzy energy of New York or London or wherever is probably infectious, I’m sure it’s enough to send your spirits soaring into a paradise of fabrics, prints and cuts representing physical forms of dreams and fantasy. RIGHT? Because that’s what fashion week is: the cathartic, orgasmic culmination of tired work nights, blood, sweat, tears (and business). Again, what could distract from this? What could take it all away in an instant?
BITCHES.

Realistically speaking, fashion week has nothing to do with this since I can think of lots of profoundly beautiful life events that can be ruined altogether at the fault of bitch weakness. More specifically: women being cruel to each other. I once had a boss tell me that female clients would hate me right off the bat, almost always, and she curtly offered the advice of not wearing makeup and putting my hair up in an ugly bun when I plan to meet with a woman because it would “put them at ease” because that’s what she does and it works for her.
So just to ensure my point is made as succinctly as possible, I’m going to try to make some declarative statements:
- Women are insecure a lot
- Maybe more than men?
- Probably. That seems right. But I’m not a man, and someone somewhere might one day get all “um statistically speaking BLALBBLABLA” and I’m not doing this to attract fact based counterarguments so LET ME stick to my generalization.
- They’re insecure because they:feel like losers
- think they’re not cool or smart or funny
- think they’re fat almost always
- beat themselves up over things they do that they feel support the above claims
- hate themselves and are mean to themselves in the privacy of their own thoughts
- had a bad experience once or twice in the past where someone (anyone) convinced them one or all of these things are true and they can’t let it go
Also, obviously, tons of people might think “Nope. I know I’m not (actually) fat, I’m pretty hilarious, stunning, ingenious… I’m a total catch… Anyone who doesn’t think so is out of their minds” but if you peel back the self delusional “fake it till you make it” silent desperation that plagues so many people today that consciously believe this is true and arrive to the cold abyss of darkness and despair (among other, happier companions I’m sure) that is the subconscious and really take a look into what’s actually happening, we would find that people are motivated by fear and a constant (though ill executed) search for acceptance and love.
This is what goes on in the internal dialogue when meeting a fellow female:
- Is she prettier/smarter/more put together/more successful than me?
- If so, does this mean she’s better than me?
- If she is better than me, does this mean she will take all the goodness and love and wonderment of life AWAY FROM ME FOREVER?
This frame of mind used to affect me quite a bit during my development and I’m sure it still does to an extent though I’ve come to realize it’s nonsense. I’ve been on a self love kick and luckily so have many of my close girl friends and the infusion of this type of feel good energy makes it possible to step out of the aforementioned paradigm and actually like other women. Through my conversations with my various enlightened friends, I’ve come to understand this viewpoint is universal and I see evidence of it when I meet new females during the course of my days.

Interestingly, focusing on yourself and thinking about how awesome you are actually makes you hate other women less!
Men have a brotherhood and they are, more often than not, able to acknowledge each other as potential friends first, unless something goes horribly wrong, but this camaraderie rarely exists in girl world. There’s no such thing as a universal sisterhood for females. We are constantly bombarded with conflicting information and feelings that make it impossible to step outside of the confines they create, which makes girls have their guard up always. Usually this means, when approaching another female, you have to either downplay your strengths (to avoid negative attention from them) or completely dominate the interaction entirely… with loving kindness.
It’s kind of like in Avatar when the avatars have to fight those dragon things before they become besties forever.
What delicate creatures we are.
Now I will provide some helpful aids which I hope will be heavily considered:
- If you’re a girl and you meet another girl, be nice to her.
- This doesn’t mean mask your inner hatred for fake niceness. This means actually acknowledge the person that is in front of you and find a source of love to draw from and express that. For realsies.
- Compliment them if you like something.
- Ask them questions if you have questions (which you should—they’re a new person in your life that you know nothing about.)
- Recognize the universality of human interaction, we all share the same feelings and it’s theorized that we are all the same person in different forms and expressions. You don’t necessarily have to believe this but you can believe that we all have a lot more in common than we think.

There’s so much more to say about this, but for now I guess it suffices to say that’s very important to be nicer to other people and to yourself so that you can be happier in general!
YAY!

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Tags: Arts, Avatar, Design, fashion, fashionweek, London, New York, Women