Death or Lyf


One thing that has become clear to me. In the last 30 years of life. Is that we basically have to just wake up one day and decide how we want to live and who we want to be with respect to two different modes:

Eros and Thanatos is a great way to look at it thanks Freud or whoever. While there are a lot of problems with Freud and his theories. No I don’t to fuck my dad, don’t be gross you lunatic.

But one thing I can get on board with is the exploration of this dichotomy.


Sometimes I think: won’t it be nice to just go home and feel that sweet release into comfort. Into fuzzy things. Into love and nurture and warmth. And yes these things are good but only to an extent. They’re like a prize. A respite for a job well done. Our comfort zone is one of the spoils of war. Without war, there is no need for comfort. Without war, what do you need to retreat to? And also where is this war? Is it with the outside world? With the elements? With your work? Your friends? Your loved ones? Is someone physically attacking or chasing you? Are you a cave man all of a sudden? Battling the wild in the tundra?

I hear all the time about how we have to mitigate anxiety because anxiety is essentially just our evolutionary response to the modern comforts of everyday life. We don’t have to run from danger as much these days so our heads essentially just make up new dangers.

Which is super fun.


Too comfortable a life certainly has its downsides. There’s action in the chase, there’s movement in striving and there’s a life affirming exhilaration in the very discomfort we seek to sooth with our comforts. The blanket. The arms of our mother, father, lover, friend. If you leave the movement, find a way to wrap yourself in an ivory tower away from strife, stand still too long, you crystallize into something static. Unnatural. Nothing in life is static because nothing alive is static.

Of all the people living in fear of change, what they don’t know is the very thing they’re evading is what makes them beautiful, pulsating, brimming with life.

And also like what if change is also AMAZING. There’s so much shooting yourself in the foot with this

I hate change!


Like how do you know you do? What if it’s great! What if it’s an improvement on this garden you’ve tended to so far? The leaves grow and build upon what they already have. Stalks get big and tall, as tall as their time and resources will allow. No plant is like mmmm I’ve made enough flowers. This is as good as it’s gonna get for me. Better call it a day and wait for this 401k to cash out.



They triumph towards the sun!

They grow and outwardly expand with the full majesty of the natural world!

Why would we be any different?

Why would we be excluded from this very kingdom that brings us life, love and death?

I’m just saying you have a lot more going for you than you think.

Lovez and kisses.



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