Do poor, desperate losers need love too?

7 Feb

The other day I missed my train because I was having a conversation with a stranger about the universe (basically). More specifically, we started out discussing food stamps and people who abuse the system and end up buying cigarettes and beer with their food stamp money and don’t throw their cigarettes in the trash instead of the floor when they’re done with them.

This last point was of particular frustration for the strange man I was speaking to.

Obviously the easy thing to say here is that those people suck and that it’s too bad they exist and feed off our otherwise sterling society (LOLZ), but if we look closer, the issue becomes far more complicated (obviously). Anyway, in an effort to more diplomatically demonstrate this, I started telling this guy about the movie The Purge which effectively communicates why it’s kind of a bad thing to just say that “abusers of the system” are horrible.

Note, The Purge takes this a step further and, in that fictitious society, it’s pretty much ok to kill them once a year).

It went over pretty well and I drew a few parallels by talking about unemployed people and really anyone that’s being helped by some institutionalized form of support ends up having an internal battle of determination versus complacency and that this is a universal feeling that many people can’t get out of—particularly if they’ve enduring this particular form of internal battle for an extended period of time.

Or if they’re born into the system. For example.

Really, this issue doesn’t have anything to do with these people, or that guy, or my experience the other day, or unemployed people. This is one instance along the vast spectrum of self-actualization. Why be the best person you can be when you are pretty comfortable being pretty good. You know? Why put in the extra work, why search or yearn for the extra dose of motivation to strive for excellence? It’s soooooo much more work. It’s sooooooo hard. Isn’t it?

I don’t know about this part yet. I don’t know if it has to be so hard. It’s probably the kind of thing where your head messes you up and it’s only hard because of how you’re thinking about it, which is the biggest joke. Why is anything hard for anyone? Because they have convinced themselves that it is. Why do people spend their entire lives working in fast food? Or being unemployed? Or never having a job? Or never getting off the couch? Or being on that show “My 600 lb life”?

What the hell is that even about?

It’s because people don’t focus on what’s possible enough.
It’s because people think they’re losers a lot.
It’s because people think about what they believe to be probable too much.
It’s because of a lack of spirit. And years of negative conditioning.

And because striving for excellence is too hard and convincing yourself that you’re worth something special is in fact, quite readily and often, too hard.


Enter the Fog God Neptune:

23 Dec









The majesty of a foggy day. Everything is elusive, unclear and soft. I can always rely on the enjoyment I derive from such days, a happy byproduct of severe fluctuations in temperature. Or whatever reason the scientists have come up with to explain fog; its presence is as mysterious as its effects.

Since I’m currently battling the negative externalities of nesting season, choosing to capture the beauty of the world around me proved an effective emotional pacifier. And yes, I know it’s the holidays. People who date each other want to do things like nap and other indoor activities. People who don’t date anyone also want to stay in and nap. And watch movies.

Or whatever.

And it’s not like I hate inside time, I just mostly dislike it because it’s usually not as awesome as outside time.

Spending too much time indoors makes me feel like a wild animal. I already spend tons of time indoors at work all day. I have a need to be expressive. Outside. Also, I got snow boots this year, which has really revolutionized my outdoor winter experience. Maybe the people of Boston need to prioritize getting winter boots and an appropriate winter puffy jacket?

Anyway look at more photos of cool buildings. I’ve been taking lots of pictures of my environment lately. How can you not when the world is so beautiful? Plus taking pictures and walking around aimlessly is a great distraction from…


I’ll get over it eventually.











17 Dec

Oh boy.

Am I excited for the holiday season this year. In many respects, this is a recessionary time for me, and probably many others.

A time when we zero in on the important, intimate, beautiful parts of life and enjoy them in exquisite solitude.

The way I’ve chosen to express this phenomenon is in photographic form. With photos of snowflakes!

I didn’t actually know snowflakes were visible with the naked eye. I thought you needed some sort of microscopic lens. My whole life. Until now.

Together, with regular sight and the magic of iSight, I was able to use technological advancement to capture these elusive yet plentiful gems. Observe:










Start your day off right.

13 Dec

Does this make me a Born Again? A.k.a. RevolutionBEATS

22 Nov

I spent a great deal of my life making sure everyone knew I was fine. Everything was great.

Don worry abaout-et.

 I got hit by a car when I was six because I wasn’t paying attention outside of the church my family and I sometimes went to (for ten minutes or so before midnight mass on Easter—for the cheap thrills of fireworks and that cool candle lighting ceremony that happens). Except this time I was alone and I was walking home. My leg was bleeding, it wasn’t that serious, but the dude that worked at the church was very concerned. The only thing I said to him was “don’t tell my parents about this” and I treated him like he had done something wrong.

I was angry.

Not that I got hit by a car, but because I was seen getting hit by a car. And I wanted to make sure no one else found out about it.

Especially my parents.

This was my nature. I did this with everything you could possibly ever think of. I was such an angry child and it seemed with each person I came into contact with through the years my anger grew greater and more vicious. You always hear about how people try to be courageous or brave and try to mask their insecurities and fears, never knowing that what’s braver and more courageous is the act of expressing and losing sight of consequence.

For example, here are a few things that I got scared of:

Stagnancy and complacency, interacting with someone who refuses to like me (an uncommon occurrence really), that the people I love will get hurt, that I will end up alone and unloved. Expressing that I sometimes feel unlovable: too ugly or too fat to love. Or perhaps the underlying theme of it all: that I am unworthy of my greatest dreams, for whatever reason I decided once when I was a toddler or whenever you pick up yo crazy.

 Writing these things out makes them seem so silly.

Writing them publicly in your blog makes them sound insane.

 This is what Brenee  Brown, and so many others she has drawn from, means when she says vulnerability is strength. What happens when you transcend your neuroses is that you derive knowledge and love from them.

You understand better. You have more courage.

 How nice it is to wake up from a reality and realize it wasn’t real. It was basically a dream. It was never true, it wasn’t based on truth. You live your whole life believing an illusion about yourself until you don’t and all of a sudden you’re light, free and happy about the world and you’re finally ready to inherit it.

I’m hoping that someone who’s ready to read this will come across and become inspired to fearlessly look into their lives, their choices, their minds, their reactions and feelings and to have the courage to understand that they couldn’t be more beautiful or worthy of all the gifts that are so freely available to us in life.



Also, this is what Charlie Chaplin looks like without makeup on:

The theme is: Vegan

11 Nov

I was having a conversation recently with this girl I’m friends with In Real Life. About being vegans.

Just a couple of vegans (kinda) talking about being vegans.

I’ve thought about this and I don’t think that vegans talk especially extensively about being vegan as humans generally just talk about food a lot. But since being vegan has become so polarized lately, those that fall on the less than favorable reception of vegans notice all the self glorifying talk of greens and sacrifice and martyrdom because they just don’t like the idea of anyone eluding that they are wrong in one of their most basic, most personal choices they can make as humans:

What they eat.

Which is understandable.

And funny because then vegans walk around being all “why is everyone so mean to me” but really it’s because by being vegan you are inadvertently making a statement about the “other”  people who aren’t making such an obvious choice to refrain from meat. Should vegans keep their veganism a secret? Should they not participate in one of the human race‘s greatest fascination of food and what kinds of things to do to it!

Should they not rejoice in the delight of talking to others about what they eat? I will say that I feel vegans do derive joy from sharing a discussion on their food choices with non vegans. But the way I feel about it is, if you have the stamina to maintain such a lifestyle, then you should by all means gloat about it.

Gloat away!

Obviously, treating vegans unfairly would be silly, we are all equals here and all have a right to their opinion. Democracy! Fraternity! Plus vegans need to get over it and the idea that you need other people to agree with your choices just like everybody else. If you want support with your issues, talk to other vegans.

You can’t change anyone’s mind with self-righteousness.

We came up with a list of things that prove we (as vegans (or aspiring vegans <–that one’s me) ) are right and others (devil meat eaters who are basically bad people) are wrong. Just in case some people out there are unclear, here it is:

1. It’s like those people that say the Holocaust never happened!

Seriously how many findings and long, arduous nutritional studies and experiments need to come out that confirm most of our known lifestyle diseases (heart disease, diabetes, cancer, the other one’s I don’t remember the name of… ) are perpetuated by consumption of processed and animal products before the general human population will actually believe that they are saying the truth and aren’t just neo-food-nazi propaganda fascist LIARS that are creating untrue stories for the benefit of sickly self-righteous deluded vegans.

These findings are real, truthful and sincere. It isn’t a farce. It isn’t made up. Where do I get protein from? Everywhere else. I could eat a leaf from a tree in the common and get protein from it (I don’t actually know if that’s true). Are we done with that question forever yet? Calcium? Do you even understand how many things have calcium in them? So many things have calcium in them… how much milk do you even drink?

2. It’s like those people that are like “I’m going to bikram yoga tomorrow! JKJKJKJKJK….”

Then there’s those out there that do recognize that these findings are true and this isn’t a huge ploy like that Al Gore guy who keeps talking about the planet MELTING?! (wtf right?)

… which actually narrows it down quite a bit: People who looooove being healthy but are addicted to opiates cheese (the whole cheese being addictive thing affects a lot of people… most of them think that’s a lie too) so they keep trying to be vegan but fail because their desires for animal products are too strong to battle their laziness and lack or originality/planning (I live in this category when I’m not being “vegan”. Or they haven’t read Skinny Bitch yet.

I have.

3. This is secretly the most important factor, don’t let number ranking fool you.

I don’t know that people really understand the benefits: You will look younger. That means you don’t need to save for plastic surgery when you’re rich and old! Your skin’s elasticity greatly improves. Basically every part of your physiology gets healthier (that’s why it cures all those deceases we mentioned in #1. Duh.).

Oh yeah. Being vegan makes you thin…

4. Death and Destruction.

The animals suffering thing… is kind of a factor. Considering how messed up that gets. Basically the cruelty rivals the treatment feuding African war torn nations inflect on each other. Which is pretty bad, in general. Actually, I would say it’s a combination of that and the Holocaust (again with the Holocaust…). It’s basically a dysfunctional, unsustainable, endlessly destructive tornado of suffering, chaos and inhumanity. Since we are doing these things to animals, I think people feel like it doesn’t count. But if you’re severing limbs, genitally mutilating and sexually mistreating (in the billions), does whether you do it to an animal or a person matter?

No. The answer is no.

And that’s because doing these things is fucked up in general.

And I mean I get it. I really do.

Who wants to worry about the animals? That’s heavy. Let’s not. I don’t want to think about the sad stories about animals suffering just like I don’t really want to talk about the horrors of Africa or Typhoon Haiyan or all the other things that are going on in the world that have nothing to do with me in any way because we aren’t all connected at all and my decisions don’t affect a global scale because I am so small and the world is so big! What butterfly flapped it’s wings where?

I didn’t feel a thing.

Friends not food. 

Colors colors everywhere!

7 Nov

I’ve been loving my new camera lately.

Thank you.

Gods of iPhone in your wonder and glory.

Let’s see how this WordPress app works!

Is it just me, or are beautiful sunsets, lights and water wonderlands following me?

What do they want with me?










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